For allies

What can cis people actually do?

Cis means someone who is not trans or non-binary. If you want to show up for the trans people in your life, here is where to start.

Where to begin

One question comes up again and again: what can cis people actually do to make a difference? Below are five simple starting points. None of them ask you to have it all worked out. They just ask you to begin.

Five starting points

1. Inform yourself

There is a wealth of writing, video and audio made by trans and non-binary people. Start there. A few trustworthy UK organisations to explore are TransActual, Gendered Intelligence and Scottish Trans. It is a powerful way to build understanding, and it takes the work off the trans people around you.

2. Open your thinking

Many of us were taught that gender and sexuality are fixed and binary. It is not that simple. Be curious, loosen the rules, and notice that a more expansive view of gender creates room, for other people and for yourself.

3. Support yourself

Shifting your perspective can take time. If questions or discomfort come up, talk them through, ideally with other cis people on a similar path. If you do speak with trans or non-binary people, check in first and respect their capacity. Many trans people have spent a great deal of energy explaining themselves lately, and can be tired of it.

4. Speak up and support others

Do not leave this work to trans and non-binary people alone. If something is missing, say so, even imperfectly. And if other cis people are struggling with it, stay in conversation with them. Listening well and gently calling people in goes a long way, especially with those who feel anxious or defensive.

5. Enjoy it

Letting go of rigid rules about gender can be freeing. There is joy here too: connection, honesty, and the chance to grow alongside other people.

Turn it into action

If you want to turn that support into something concrete, you can help keep this work running and reaching the men who need it.

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